Dear Dr. Sears and TIME Magazine: 

Bite me. 

If you haven't seen this all over the news this past week, you must be living under a rock....

Just in time (no pun intended, heh!) for Mother's Day, we have this lovely image of a woman nursing her preschooler. Yes, her preschooler. And while I nursed my kids, the youngest for over a year, I physically cringed at this picture. And then I laughed, because I realized it's just the latest edition of the "mommy wars" espoused by the media. These pot stirrers did this for release right before Mother's Day. 

What a bunch of tools.

(By the way, considering the style of parenting that Sears espouses, isn't it a bit ironic that the kid is wearing camouflage pants? No? Just me? Okay.)

Anyway, the extended breastfeeding itself isn't what bothered me so much. It is that I am personally sick and tired of shit like this being flung at women, who for the most part are simply trying to do the best they can and be good moms. We carry enough guilt no matter what style of parenting we adapt. Hell, I have 4 kids who, at some point in their lives, had different parenting approaches thrown at them because they were....wait for it...DIFFERENT!  My oldest and youngest children were absolute dream babies...slept all night from 1 month, ate well, etc. Seriously, I could have been screaming down the highway on a Harley  and then wore them in a sling while being a rodeo clown and they wouldn't have batted an eye. My middle two were more, um...challenging, and I had to adapt and try things I didn't necessarily have experience with in my previous parenting adventures. 

And for the record, are we going to see any TIME covers at Father's Day with stories like "Workaholic Fathers: Do You Know Your Kid's Birthday"?  Of course not. 

Sadly, I remember 16 years ago when the internet was really just in its infancy, and there were these forums on AOL that you could post on. Parenting ones were really hot. And I was about to have my younger daughter, so while I was already a mom of 2 at that point, I figured it would be a good way to connect with other moms in cyberspace, in a sort of "support group".

What the hell was I thinking? It was this crap, but on steroids!! It is STILL going on, all these years later. Lets face it...for many people, being on the internet makes people bolder, more "in your face".  And it was on those message boards that I first heard of the term "attachment parenting".  Most of those moms were some of the most condescending, judgmental twits I had ever encountered. And the crazy part was that when it came to several issues, I agreed with them in that I had adhered to some of their gospel truths and they worked for me. But I never made the conclusion that others who didn't choose as I did (breast vs bottle, for example) were bad parents. 

Judging someone's ability to parent is something we are all guilty of sometimes. Yeah, I admit it. Generally it is as a result of someone's self inflated sense of parenting superiority...and when that kid goes in the opposite direction, I fess up to laughing my ass off at it. It's parenting schadenfreude, and we ALL do it at some point. 

Some of the moms I have met over the years make me scared for humanity, frankly....but I will say that it isn't because they used cloth diapers (for us, HELL NO), slept with their kids (at times, with some of our kids), formula or breastfeeding (both)...and on and on. And my doing things a certain way didn't make me feel any better than someone who didn't agree with me. Guess what? Well adjusted, healthy kids come from all types of families and all types of parenting approaches. And plenty of little yard monkeys and spoiled brats come from them, too. 

So ladies, let's make a pact this Mother's Day to not buy into this nonsense and try to support each other. I have a message for TIME and Dr. Sears:

You'd better believe I'm "mom enough". I dare you or anyone else to say otherwise.

Okay, if you're a person with a wicked cynical streak like me, you're probably thinking "Why the hell should I care about another 'mommy blog' who thinks she has something profound to share with the world?"

I mean, that's EXACTLY what I would be thinking...and yet here I am, writing one. So sue me. Here's my take, though, and bear with me.

Here's a description of what/who I live with on a daily basis, and you tell me if this isn't fertile ground for dysfunctional hilarity! It's also cheaper than therapy and less toxic than drugs/alcohol in copious amounts, so here goes:

I am a 42 year old mom of 4 kids, ages 22, 20, 15 and 8.  Their dad (my husband, yes- he fathered all 4) has worked in the Middle East for the better part of 6 years, and it doesn't seem to be letting up. As if this situation was more than enough to put stress on me, I came up with the idea of doing something I never thought I would be able to do- go back to school and earn a degree. And not just any degree, but a Bachelor of Music in vocal performance.

Yes, I'm serious.

See- that last part is pretty important, because being a person who has been singing her whole life, in community theater productions, choirs, and in my church, I thought I had an idea of what pursuing a BM (and as of January, a MM)  really meant. Boy, was I wrong!

It meant that on top of the usual music theory, music history, and general ed classes, I was expected to sing in multiple choirs, take lessons with a well respected, yet batshit crazy teacher, and sing in school productions. All the while, being a "single mom" and keeping together the kids' school schedules,  activities, and everything that goes with it. If that wasn't enough, I decided to earn some cash by becoming a voice teacher, choir director, and musical director for some local shows.

Yes, I'm crazy.

I find myself feeling a bit like Sybil on any given day, with a toe in three different worlds....one as a student (with kids who are half my age and more), one as a mom, and one as a performer/director.

Now you're probably thinking "Oh, great, another one of those moms who over schedules her life and her kids' lives, playing the martyr on how busy she is but the sacrifices are sooo worth it", blah blah, blah...

Not me. I happen to think that I screw things up on a somewhat regular basis.  I wonder sometimes if all this is, actually, worth it. Sometimes, the answer is "No."

But I DO think my life gives me unique opportunities for people watching, and the usual running commentary that exists in my head as a result of the lunacy which is my life is better served written down. Again, it's cheaper than therapy, people. I've got a family to support!

So read, comment, and hopefully laugh a lot. Really-for me, this is about finding people who think twisted thoughts like me and aren't afraid to share them!

I curse a lot. I'm pretty irreverent. I'm usually the loudest girl in the room. So if you are looking for an inspirational blog...this ain't it, so make a u-turn, do not pass go, and do not collect $100, and thank you for leaving.